Peer Review

Posted: May 4, 2011 in Uncategorized

Edward Sean Sweeney

English 2010

Evaluation Draft

Citizen Kane

            Cinema!  Since the first movie ever made on the pictograph people have been making stories come to life on screen.  Citizen Kane marks a land stone[KVO1]  in the art of making movies, even though it was only[KVO2]  made in 1941, we are still using cinematic techniques coined in this movie.  Sited as “a ground-breaking drama loosely based on the life of William Randolph Hearst which is frequently cited as the finest American film ever made” Citizen Kane challenges timeless issues which can haunt any man.

  Citizen Kane was one of the first movies to ever have a non-linear based story-line.  For those of you who don’t know cinema well a linear movie starts with the beginning, then middle, and finishes with an ending.  Citizen Kane starts off with the protagonist Charles Foster Kane on his death bed in his Florida estate.  Upon his last breath holding a snow globe he says the most important line in the movie “Rosebud” and drops the snow globe on the floor.   This starts a chain reaction in the community and gives leeway to a research of Mr. Kane and why such a powerful and rich man left with “rosebud” on his dying lips.  A reporter named Thompson sets out to uncover who the man behind the picture really was.

The movie then embarks on a winding road which gives the viewer insight into Mr. Kane’s live[KVO3]  and the highs and lows he experiences.  In this brilliantly set movie there is a small newsreel which gives a prospective of the public views on Mr. Kane and a look at his public and business life. This view allows the audience to get a feel of what the average Joe thinks of Mr. Kane and the success and political downfalls he experiences.  This is a link of the clip:

Wonderfully[KVO4]  set, the way we learn about Charles Kane is through the eyes of the closest people around him and the different ages where he met great success and the imminent end he fell upon.  This allows the character to portray different sides of Charles Kane and give him a deep and rich character with flaws and great qualities alike.  There are many ways the new reporters search for the information on Kane, the first interview isn’t of someone[KVO5] , Thompson is granted access to the unpublished memoirs of Kane’s early guardian, the late Wall Street banker Walter P. Thatcher.  This is when we learn of Mr. Kane’s childhood and the only up-beat part of the entire movie, until he’s forced to leave his parents and become a protégé.

The second interview is of one of Kane’s business managers and yes man who helped start the “inquirer” a newspaper.  This interview has focus on young Kane who is eager and willing to create something.  He is portrayed as a young man with nothing to lose and he even instates a diplomatic “Declaration of Principles” where he promises to tell his readers the truth and uphold honesty and good morals.  This is eventually proven wrong and become a key component to seeing how Kane become corrupt over the years of power and abuse of power.

Eventually through all of the interviews the story is uncovered and leaves Kane a shell of the man he seemed to be.  This film is incredible because it talks about issues many people weren’t looking at and was way ahead of its time.  It also used many transitions and camera angles that were never used before and created a whole new way to look at cinema.  Through all the transitions this story tells one of a man who went from rags to riches and beyond.  It’s heartfelt and you see a man who seemed to be on top of the world, lose it all to his own self embellishment.  It’s a must see for all you black and white buffs and a maybe see for those of you who have long attention spans.  This movie is 193 minutes long and can get boring at times, but if you get a chance to watch it with a film expert or teacher you’ll never look at movies the same way ever again.

Peer Review
1. In what specific passages is the topic thoroughly developed and are the criteria clear and appropriate for the audience?
Green. Mark the criteria. Are there passages in which specific details are given that relate to the criteria and answer readers’ questions? Yellow Mark them. Are there passages that mention different perspectives (positive and negative) on the thing being evaluated? In which passages could the evaluation be clearer or more useful to readers? What are some strategies to do this? Your review is very clear. You have covered the topic well and explained certain things that help the reader to understand what you are talking about. Red.

2. What are some strategies that might make the introduction more engaging? I enjoyed your intro. The only suggestion I would have is to put a little more detail about the movie, producer, director etc.

3. How would you describe the voice? At what points does that voice seem appropriate, given my intended audience and topic? What strategies might make the voice clearer or more appropriate?  I liked the voice that you gave. It sounded like someone who has seen a lot of movies and really knows what you are talking about. Great paper.

4. Are there clear expectations for the readers, and links between paragraphs or larger sections of text? What strategies would make the structure of my evaluation clear? My expectation was to understand who Mr. Kane was and a little about the movie. You did a good job of that. Possibly expand more on the movie, use some more quotes.

5. How does the conclusion reinforce or extend the value judgment being made in the evaluation? What strategies would make the conclusion more effective?  Your conclusion makes me want to see this film. I like how you were bluntly honest and said that it could be long and boring for some. Even with this statement, I want to see it.

6. If the review or evaluation includes photographs or other visual elements, what does this material contribute to the clarity and usefulness of my evaluation? Does the writer need to add or revise captions for pictures or legends for charts, graphs, or maps? Are there any places in the draft where visual information needs to be added? If so, what kind(s) of visuals should they be?  I liked the photo you used. It gives me a visual of who you are talking about and allows me to put a name with a face.

7. What does the writer do especially well in the draft? You give a good explanation of the film and you left me wanting to see the movie. It is well written and has very few errors.

8. What one or two things would most improve the draft? I think rewording a few things would help out, and maybe adding some more details about the movie.

 [KVO1]Citizen Kane is a land mark in…

 [KVO2]… It was made in 1941…


 [KVO4]I don’t think you need to start with Wonderfully set. Just start with The Way…

 [KVO5]Someone; but something…


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